Muffins are for toasting, serving with jam, and nothing else!

I’m one for self-expression; I wouldn’t have done a drama degree if I wasn’t. I also love to express myself through clothes, resulting in some pretty crazy outfits in the past. A particular outfit that springs to mind is a vintage, 90’s shell suit dress ensemble that I wore on a night out a few years ago. After a crazy hour of throwing shapes the shell suited melted onto my body resulting in a slight asthma/panic attach in the streets of Liverpool… and subsequently lead to me being cut out of my beloved dress right there and then, not a good thing to happen on a first date!!

However, maybe I’m prude, or maybe I’m getting a little older, or maybe it’s because I hated gymnastics as a kid so much… but the one fashion statement I draw the line at has to be the Leotard… what the hell is with the leotard?!

Now being a long-term lover of Edie Sedgwick, I have too respect the leotard, she did after all pioneer the look. However she wore it the right way! She teamed it with fishnets, stilettos, and abundance of pearls. There was something about it that worked; she kept her elegance & class. 

She somehow looked like she was in the most incredible, floor length, couture creation, when in reality she had nothing more then underwear on.

So I guess, our modern day pioneer of the leotard look, has to be Ms GAGA? Aka Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (sounds like an exotic cocktail). 

She’s the talented modern day Mozart, learning piano by ear, at the age of four, and writing her first piano balled by 13. And yes, what we’ve heard musically from GAGA has been fresh, inspired and innovative. But for god sake love PUT THE CAM TOE AWAY!!!!

From the waste up, she’s fabulous, from the waste down… erm… if I wanted a side order of muffin with my pop record id go and order one from Starbucks. Ok I’m being harsh, I get it, you’re an artist, its fashion, it’s what you do, but can’t we keep muffins to a minimum? Can we go back to old fashion times when we wore skirts?

She takes crotch confidence to a whole new level.  No, I couldn’t see you poker face in your latest video, but I almost saw your lunch!

Whilst I salute her bravery, and if you’ve got it, flaunt it…but may I suggest that we keep leotards for gymnastics, shell suits for Liverpool men from the 90’s, and muffins,  for toasting, serving with jam, and nothing else!