I am not addressing all of you when I say this, but some of us have a shitty day job, myself, I am no exception to the rules. When not Acting and Blogging I have to earn a crust, so I do promotions…yup…I’m the person that pesters you in the street to ‘sign up to the gym’, or the gal in the baseball cap in Piccadilly Train Station offering you coke zero at 7am. As well as sampling, sales and leafleting sometimes in promotions we have to don a ridiculous outfit in attempt to promote a product. You name it i’ve worn it. A Gorilla costume quickly springs to mind. I’ve worn an all-in-one, grass green, Lycia body suit, complete with roller blades, kneepads and a helmet, all in aid of promoting Nivea deodorant, yet I think my camel toe was the only thing promoted that day! The promotion that most sticks in my mind, was the Aero, ‘lovely bubbly’, hot chocolate campaign I did a few years back.
Work started at Piccadilly train station at 7am, which meant I would need to leave the house at 6am to get there on time. Now, I have naturally curly hair, which takes extensive blow-drying, normally I’d never wash it night before and go to bed on it wet, but for some reason this particular night I did just that, thinking to myself that I could re-wet it and blow it at 5am in the morning and it would all be fine. So I set my alarm for 5am, only to wakeup at 6.40am!! I darted up out of bed, got dressed and literally just left the house…. not even shutting the front door (my sister actually had to drive round to the house to shut it!). I managed to make it to Piccadilly by the skin of my teeth arriving at 7.05. When I arrived I noticed I got a few funny looks from the other staff members, one guy actually asking if I was ok because, “I looked a little insane”? I excused myself and headed to the toilet and I couldn’t quite believe what was staring me back in the mirror. I looked like Aileen Wuornos from ‘Monster’. My hair was in this crazy, matted ‘crusty the clown’ style, I didn’t have a scrap of make up on my face, and trust me, I need make-up. However things took a slight turn for the worst when handed my work outfit for the day. A mans shirt, brown in colour, and CHINOS! Men’s size 40 waist, chinos, because I was late (by 5 minutes) there were no women’s chinos available, so I was left with the dregs. Matters were made worse by having to ask a particular celebrity, (whom I have a slight school girl crush on), who just so happened to be walking through Piccadilly, if he’d like a “lovely bubbly hot chocolate?” He looked me up and down with slight looked of disgust and fear; he seemed ever so concerned by the crazy, outback, murder look, I was channelling and politely declined!
So if you are tempted to follow the footsteps of Kylie and Selma, please, please, please follow these simple guidelines:
· Buy chinos that suit your shape, don’t just buy them because they are a new trend. If you are a little heaver in the leg and bum department go for a looser fit chino.
· If you are a skinny mini, you can be brave and experiment with different colours and more of a slim-fit with a higher waist.
· When wearing your chinos keep to the theme, a floral top just won’t work, so keep it simple yet masculine.
· Wear a boyfriend cardigan or a sky blue shirt tucked into the chino, white tees and navy tees will complement the khaki colour.
· Roll your chinos up to expose your ankle
· Team the look with gladiator sandals in the day and a chunky brown leather heel in the evening.
· And if you ever get asked to work for Areo ‘lovely bubbly’ simply say NO!
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